Cut it in half

We're eating pizza and talking about my two finches. My poor male birdie, Huff, recently died. We picked up another society finch, but we're still trying to figure out the gender. We're pretty sure it's a girl, though, same as my other (zebra) finch, Puff.

Now, some eggs were just laid (which I suspect the new bird laid). My mom asked if they were both sitting on the egg and I answered that they were. My mom says that we will have to get another bird, now, and my sister and I agree. There's a moment of silence as we chew our pizza. In my sister's defense, she's staring at the T.V. and so she missed what my mom and I are doing. I'm staring at the pizza, which had huuuuge slices, and debating taking another. So, my mom tells me: "We can cut that in half."

I start to nod in reply, but my sister looks up in panic and asks: "The birds!?"

Aides =/= AIDES

Our father is watching the news and a piece on First Lady Michelle Obama is on. It's talking about her fighting back about some of the things a book has said about her.

One such thing was that the book claimed she "clashed with [President Obama's] aides."

My sister has been facing the television, like my mom and I. Upon hearing this she immediately turns around, eyes wide, shocked, and panicked. She exclaims: "He has AIDS!?"

Toothless Dog

"I wonder what Dolly -" our dog's name is Dolly - "would be like without teeth." *slight pause* "Arara," said with her teeth hidden behind her gums, imitating a toothless dog.

I wish I had a video to go along with it, because it was pretty funny.

And I have no idea where in the world it came from. One moment we were talking and she got up to get a drink. She took a moment to stare at Dolly and then blurted the above out.

I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Six Nipples/Title Explanation

No, my sister doesn't actually have six nipples.

Our cat does, though. One day while petting our cat (she's black and white and I creatively named her Oreo), she said: "Just another day with six nipples." She was looking off into the distance, too. I still have no idea why she said that.

I stared at her and laughed until she realized what she had just said. I promised for it to be the title of a book I wrote, but I still haven't quite figured out what the book should be about, so it became this blog instead.

Ta-da?